My Story
When I dreamed up this idea of helping others moms become more confident in their breastfeeding and pumping journey, I was so excited to connect with other women and provide breastfeeding education so that they could have a better breastfeeding and pumping experience. Waking up every day and serving moms in such a special time is such a honor and true joy.
Every mom and baby has a different breastfeeding and pumping journey. It is my mission to support each mom and her own unique goals and vision for herself, her baby, and her family.
Some of you may know my story, but for those of you who are new to our site, I would love to invite you to learn a little more about me, and how my love for helping breastfeeding and pumping moms began.
Let’s start at the beginning. My husband and I had a whirlwind romance and got married on our one year anniversary of our first date. We were both in grad school and moved across the country from our friends and family the day after our wedding so that he could pursue his PhD. We were settling into our new life together and busy with school so the thought of having children hadn’t even crossed out minds. In fact, we had said that we were going to wait at least 5 years before discussed growing out family, if even at all. Fast forward 8 months into our marriage and we were surprised to find out that we were expecting. It took a couple of weeks for the initial shock to wear off, but from the moment we heard the heartbeat, I knew without a doubt that I was going to breastfeed. With my educational background, I knew breastfeeding was the best source of nutrition for our little one so there was no further discussion needed. I. Was. Breastfeeding.
Our first born arrived and it was love at first sight. I had anticipated and dreamed about our first latch for months. In my mind, after some skin to skin to allow him to adjust to life in his new world, he would wiggle his way up and latch. I mean, that is how they described this fairy tale in the breastfeeding class that I took and the moms that I had talked described it as nothing but magical.
That was NOT our reality. From the moment we tried to latch for the first time, we struggled. At one point, a nurse tossed a nipple shield my way and told me to try it. Feedings lasts upwards of an hour every single time and I was never visited by a lactation consultant until the day we weren’t being discharged for home. The medical staff and team said everything was going well, even though he was losing weight, his bilirubin levels were high, and I was in so much pain with feedings that I cringed every time he began to show hunger cues. He was my first, and I thought all of this was “normal” and soon enough we would get the hang of it and it would get easier.
With each passing day, I got more sore, more cracks, feedings were still taking forever and it took almost as long to get him to latch with or without the nipple shield. Within the first few weeks, I had already had 2 episodes of mastitis and began to dread feeding because it was such a struggle and the pain was unreal. He was slowly gaining weight, but the Dr. suggested that I pump and feed him some extra after feedings. So, feeding, pumping, washing, repeat was all we got accomplished every day. It became so overwhelming that I was in tears every day. Some people said to just give formula, that would be easier. Others advised to just keep going and push through. My husband knew better than to jump in with an opinion and simply asked me how I felt and what I wanted to do.
With that question came long conversations about what we felt was best for our family. After many tears, going back and forth with our decision, and lots and lots of guilt, I began to exclusively pump for our little guy. I was crushed, Even though I was still able to give him my breastmilk, I was devastated that our breastfeeding journey had ended. This was not what I had pictured or planned for us. And so, after three long months of being attached to a pump every 2-3 hours (no longer or I would get engorged), and another round of mastitis, we found out that we were expecting again!
Little by little my milk supply began to dwindle. So there we found ourselves again at a crossroads. I was soon going back to work full time, pumping for our three month old, pregnant, and finishing up grad school. What do we do? What was best for our family? We knew the answer but it was not an easy one to make. Before returning to work, we weaned our son to formula and completely dried up my milk supply. I was so heartbroken. I had this big dream of how everything was going to go….perfectly duh! and when nothing went as I had hoped, it was almost too much.
So, when we found out we were expecting our second child I was, for a second, hesitant to try breastfeeding again. But, I knew in my heart that we had to try and prayed for a drastically different outcome and experience. I was elated when our first latch was magical. Well, as magical as it can be with a room full of residents, doctors, and nurses (we delivered at a teaching hospital). From day one, we had no problems other than a little sensitivity as we worked on latching. No nipple shield, no mastitis, no pumping and supplementing. It was beautiful.
I am excited to share that I was able to successful breastfeeding 2 more children (3 in total). As a mom of 4, I have breastfed, exclusively pumping, supplemented, and fed with formula. Though I wasn’t able to see if at the time, I am so thankful for every single struggle that we faced throughout our breastfeeding, pumping, and formula feeding journeys because it led me to find my true passion and become an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) with a mission to, “Encouraging Moms to Care Confidently” throughout their breastfeeding and pumping journey. I believe that my unique experiences have allowed me to connect with and understand moms to support them through their difficult challenges and also celebrate with them in their victories.
Thank you so much for stopping by and letting me share a little bit of our story with you. No matter where you are at in your journey, pregnant, breastfeeding, pumping, or weaning, I want you to know that you are amazing and strong. Your journey and your story are unique and whatever you goals are and whichever path you take, that you are doing what is best for YOUR family. And that mamma, is perfect. It’s not always easy, but it is perfect.